9 of Swords - Holding Sorrow
A person sits upright in a bed, head in hands. They wear a white sleeping gown. Their legs are covered by a blanket quilted in yellow squares with red roses, and blue squares with the symbols of the zodiac. The bed linen is simple, and the bed base has a painting or carved relief showing a scene of two people in a sword fight - with a clear winner and loser. 9 swords with interlaced handles hang horizontally on a black background.
9 of swords from the Rider Waite Smith Tarot
Some cards in the tarot can come across as more cryptic and mysterious than others, and the symbolism isn’t as straight forward. The 9 of Swords however is one of those cards that seems to need little explanation, at least on first impressions. Upon immediate contact, most of us will get this one.
What are the immediate impressions I receive when gazing at card. What part of the image is drawing my attention? What might this relate to at this point of time?
Upon first gaze my eyes gravitate toward the figure, in particular the head in hands. The emotional pain, distress and sorrow is palpable. Which is interesting considering that the swords suit in the tarot deals with thoughts and intellect and not so much emotion. But also that’s not particularly weird as the interplay between thoughts and feelings is one of influence and interrelationship. Thoughts can have a powerful effect on how you feel.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is built upon this and the premise that if you can identify the ‘dysfunctional’ thoughts and beliefs triggered by events and circumstances in your life, and reframe them to something more rational and realistic, then this can transform the subsequent emotional experiences and behaviours as well. In practice I find this approach as a good basic skill to include as an adjunct to deeper work rather than a central process. My daughter was able to do CBT on herself from 5 years old (granted she has very high emotional intelligence).
My point being that you mightn’t always need a therapist to navigate this and I find The Work of Byron Katie valuable here (check her podcast and live zooms for this in action).
What’s a recent event or situation (A), that led to a difficult emotion or regrettable action from me (C)? What was the mediating thought or belief (B)? How might I reframe this belief to this situation? How might that result in a different emotional or lived outcome?
So far though, this says little about what to do when 9 swords seem to come at you in the middle of the night! and get you bolt upright moaning into your hands. I've certainly been in this position. In fact, sleep for me is 50/50 solid and deep versus writhing churn. I don’t find the downward arrow technique and logicking my way through particularly fruitful at 3am.
I wish I could recall where I read it; but there was some link to joy or pleasure, and how people who were more introspective, sensitive or empathetic types had less of it. Urgh. This seems significant in this context whereby, the swords in the image aren’t poking into the person. The tips of the swords are out of frame too. They’re ominously hanging or hovering above in space and darkness like clouds, but they mightn’t be really harmful or even directly related to you. Perhaps symbolic of someone who carries unnecessary burdens or the worries and sorrows of others.
Are the thoughts and worries I wake up to mine? or someone else’s?
What is the theme to the thoughts that interrupt my sleep?
What or who do I worry about?
Insomnia and sleep disorders are a vast a varied issue that requires a multi-pronged review. But when it comes to a mind that’s laying on a 9 sword load of heavy thoughts, particularly if they’re unsolvable, or they’re world-other problems, then giving up the anxiety of the fight through some form of acceptance and detachment from them can help in the moment.
My go-to is to just sit up, switch the bedside light on and turn to the ready-at-hand book (yes my husband remains log-like and is not disturbed - and yes he’s pretty joyful). 90% of the time this is enough to interrupt the whir and send me back to sleep within 20 minutes. Others might write their thoughts and dreams in a bedside journal, get up and have a warm drink, or wander out in the starlight before reattempting sleep.
What would accepting my wakefulness and worry look like? How might I give up the fight?
What’s an action that can interrupt and release me from the load of thoughts in the middle of the night.
Recently I've been writing and recording for an online course and in the process rediscovered a wonderful, slightly weird and fun pranayama practice called Bhramari or Bee breath. The way the person in the image is holding their head in hands reminded me of a hand position for this practice.
PRACTICE: Sit up tall. Block your ears with your thumbs, and let your other fingers rest very softly on forehead and eyelids. Inhale normally, then when you exhale make a slow steady hum. This will make a deep buzzing sound like a bee inside your head. Repeat 5 to 10 times.
Doing this both before sleep and upon any wakefulness makes me curious for how Bhramari might be used to support sleep and detach from thoughts. The mudra (hand position) helps to close off the sense organs, while the vibration of the sound, can act to interrupt thoughts, and also harmonise and sooth an activated nervous system.
Much love,
Mendy