9 of Wands - Resilience
A man with a bandaged head stands in front of a fence-like structure of 8 wands. He holds another wand firm in the ground in front of him, arms lifted up in front of his chest. He looks piercingly out to the side. In the background there is a range of green hills and mountains. The sky is open and clear blue.
9 of Wands from the Rider Waite Smith Tarot
Most of us are conditioned to “play nice”. As children we were discouraged from saying “no”, pushing back or arguing. At the same time, compliance was rewarded with being told how we’re being such a “good boy/girl” or are so “easy” or “quiet”.
Obviously, it’s important to become socialised to live cooperatively and empathically with others and your world. But what can happen if agreeableness is over-emphasised, is that you end up suppressing or denying your own desires, needs and opinions so you don’t experience rejection or punishment from others - real or perceived.
This card can be a reminder that there are times that taking a stand is vitally important for your sense of self and your individuation. Especially if deep within, you know what’s right for you.
On the continuum from passive … through to aggressive … where do I typically sit?
How has conforming to external ideals helped me? And hurt me?
Wands in the tarot symbolises life force, passion, and the creative fire that can be connected to your life purpose. And this person stands defensively with 9 wands! – that’s a lot of energy. And it looks like he’s been through it too! With his burliness, bandage, and steely, vigilant glare. He’s done what he needs to do, and he’s ready to keep doing what it takes to protect his wands.
What’s important to me right now? What would it look - sound - feel like to take a stand on this?
If setting a strong limit isn’t part of your repertoire, then it might feel wrong or too hard when you do try. You might need to re-learn how to use your physical, emotional, and mental power and energy to 1) get grounded and get a good footing, and then 2) resist the pressures to conform or shift your stance.
If you’ve never really done that, this card offers encouragement to cultivate the skills you need to take this sort of empowered action.
Pat Ogden, who developed sensorimotor psychotherapy as a method for processing trauma says that thwarted attempts to assert yourself, escape, or express a need is what can keep you stuck in an over-reactive fight-flight response (that’s being overly aggressive or defensive) or an under-reactive feign-collapse response (that’s giving in, apathy).
For some of you, setting a limit risks criticism or rejection at worst, but if this automatic response is connected to trauma, it can literally feel life threatening to stand up for yourself. So first, check where your automatic response might stem from and go steadily into building your resources for controlled power and conscious action.
In either case, whatever the important thing is, that requires your protection, strength and assertion NOW, it’s not likely to be life threatening in the present. Resilience comes from going through a challenge. It means perhaps getting a little battered in the process, but then dusting yourself off, bandaging yourself up, and then returning to ground - stronger because you tried.
How might I withstand the external judgement, negativity and discouragement (even well-meaning suggestions, advice) that will come through holding my position?
How have I demonstrated strength and resilience in the past? How might I draw on this now to take a stand?
I’ve suggested it several times before in this offering - how embodying the image in the card, can help you experience the cards message. So if you need a kick-start, try now to imagine the important idea or thing, then stand up, find a staff (broom handle?), plant it in the ground, feel your spine embolden, and keep a squint eye out there for anyone who might try and knock your wands down.
Much love
Mendy 👏🏼